Daily Archives: January 27, 2017

Win every argument? No, that’s not even fair…..

This post belongs in a section I’ve thought for the longest time of creating on this blog, which I would call “Noor-isms”. That child amazes me, every once in a while, with the things she says that make me do a double take and wonder if I’m actually dealing with someone older the child I mostly assume she still is.

So this evening, I idly asked her if she still wants to be a doc, or a teacher, as she’s often said she wants to be. She said she might even want to be a psychologist.

[What follows is a verbatim of whatever she said, which I then made her repeat while I wrote it all down here].

Oh? Why? I asked. And she said, “I like to think about how people are so different to each other, and why that is”. She went on to explain that often, when she observes an argument, she sees that there are so many different points of view, all of which are right in their own place. “I think when you’re arguing, discussing something or having a debate”, she said, people only look at something the way they want to see it, they only  hear what they want to hear”…..”Sometimes, people say what seems to the other person to not even be related to the argument; but to the one who says it, it’s totally relevant. A lot of the time people get frustrated or angry because they think the other person is wrong. They can never understand why said person is doing what they’re doing, because they only see it the way they want to see it. Whereas they’re not understanding each other’s point of view.But then you have to look at all the different points of view.”

Sometimes, she said, “I just watch these arguments in school and in daily life and I think about all this”…”Because everyone thinks so differently , so you have to take the time to understand who is making valid points. You have to try and understand where the other person is coming from, you have to put yourself in their shoes, to understand why they are saying what they’re saying, you have to do that in order to convince them about your point of view.”

But then you won’t win the argument, I said. And she said, “well you don’t have to, you can’t win every argument”.

As I said at the start – now there’s another Noor-ism to live by….